Do you shy away from decision-making?
Chances are, you do. But before you get defensive, hear me out.
A friend recently posted something that really resonated: the time when board members could keep things behind closed doors is over. The old reflex of “let’s wait, let’s contain, let’s handle it quietly behind the board room doors” is dead. What was hidden yesterday leaks out today, not by accident or conspiracy, but because time and transparency no longer allow secrets to remain hidden.
I fully agree. Emotional information always finds a way out, no matter how tightly we control it.
This week’s Dutch politics illustrated it perfectly; and it is happening everywhere. Emotions are persistent, e-motion literally finds its way out.
A blurred line
The line between decision makers and employees, or between the board of a professional board and their members , is blurring.
Professionals react instantly, and then decision makers react to them, and vice versa.
What follows is often a messy conversation nobody fully understands. On social media it spirals even faster and mostly to the worse.
In today’s reality, leadership cannot be a solo act.
Strategic decision makers carry responsibility, but so do members of the organization.
Those who speak up shape the outcome. Those who stay silent risk becoming irrelevant.
What is needed
Only by working together can we create a new future. Leadership today is messy, public, and fundamentally human.
Emotions, doubts, questions, and searching, are all part of the decision- making process.
Everyone involved needs to listen without snapping to judgment. Expect openness? Start being open yourself.
This requires curiosity, humility and the courage to embrace imperfection.
Response-ability
I recently felt frustrated firsthand.
I had reached out – several times – to board members about a new international ethical code for professional organizations.
Their response ? You can always inform us. And that was it.
I wondered if the issue would ever reach the agenda, the silence felt frustrating.
In decision-making dynamics, committed professionals, such as coaches and advisors who are not part of the decision-making units often struggle to have their meaningful contributions heard.
Response-ability in everyday life is declining in general.
Of course, everyone can talk with like-minded peers, but they then risk missing others’ perspectives.
These dynamics are profoundly human: by nature brains are wired to react.
The good news is that we can rewire the brains when caught by emotions.
A soothing proverb
We have supervisory tools that help navigate these relational dynamics.
I today softened my own frustration through self-supervision, guided by an old Margaret Mead proverb:
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has” (this proverb opens our book Supervision for Coaches).
Supervision can humanize decision making, but the process starts with self, not with the other.
More specifically: it begins with your brain and the dismantling your own biases.
Only then can we reveal and shape a better world, a world rooted in curiosity, accountability and shared response- ability.
Returning to the initial question: Do we shy away from making decisions?
Yes, because we are humans and everyone’s brain is biased.
And that is precisely why curiosity, dialogue, and shared responsibility matter more than ever.
The unavoidable question
The question is unavoidable: how do you discover your own biases?
(Hint: start by examining your emotional responses in decision-making processes when the stakes are high).
